So, once again I feel my English language has failed me. There are not enough nuanced words for liars (Unless they're dressed-up in explicative adjectives).
Lying. Now, I’m terrible at lying. I'm only good with strangers, such as the people on Melrose Blvd with their clipboards who are trying to make street walking legal. I decline to pause because "I just don't have the time." But really, if I’m on Melrose I’ve nothing but time, why else would I be there? Otherwise I’m honest, and thanks to my genes, almost painfully. Although thank goodness my vocabulary comes to my rescue; I’m able to modify, directly address the particular hard-to-be-honest-about issue at-hand and hopefully with a world of tact.
Now, the reason my language fails me with lying is that there are so many types of lies: big lies, little lies, white lies, lies we tell to be nice -- make things easier, yet they all really only have one word.
My biggest problem right now is with the Non-Lie. The non-lie, to me, is when one deliberately chooses NOT to disclose something which is a rather big deal. Say, "I have a wife," "a boyfriend," "I’m looking for a new job," "I have a three-year old kid." This variety of big stuff to me should come up with someone you know. I’m fairly old-fashioned (Those who know me are familiar with my Victorian Walls), so if I’ve considered someone a friend (Another word that infuriates me in this happy language o' English), this type of BIG STUFF should come up sooner than later.
Non-lies are quiet, restless. They huddle in the corners teasingly. They have a presence and a weight yet go unnamed. They also are big enough so that others generally know about them already, so more often than not you find out about them through other mediums. (Ahh, technology. Even if you're not snooping you can get run over by a mac truck on the internet.)
And so when the non-lie is revealed, usually coming up way too late in the relationship. Whoa, nelly. You start questioning EVERYTHING that ever occurred between you & the Non-Liar, 'specially if you're like me. It simply ruins the trust and those few and all-too-rare moments when you were content with that other person (I’m talking all walks here, people; friends, lovers, co-workers, parents) become smashed into little bloody pieces.
Now, I’m not advocating running our mouths off to every tom, dick & mary we meet, but I feel when a relationship (You guessed it, another word I’m afraid of) reaches a certain point, certain information should be discussed, if necessary.
Whew. Sorry for the rant & yes I'm going on four hours of sleep and have been snipered by not one non-lie but TWO in the last 24 hours. Awesome.
1 comment:
hm, yes, this is a problem. And not only for the OBVIOUS reasons, you know, the ones outfitted in betrayal and so on, but because the issue of honesty has become something of an old-fashioned pastime that the "Non-Liars" are so fond of talking about over their cranberry cocktails as though it's a distant memory. Values, anyone?? I think it's rather honorable to order some truth on ice rather than a lie disguised by sugary sweetness. Meh, meh, meh.
Rant all day, doll. Your "rants" are brilliant and much appreciated.
Post a Comment