Self-help...?

So, after a truly grand weekend; i was recounting tales of near-disaster to S & a suggestion was made, "You should write this down. All of it." Hmm, it has crossed my mind before & other near-and-dears have suggested this before. So today i'm musing about this against the rainy day grey & i'm thinking i could write a different kind of self-help book.

Now, i've never really read a self-help book, except this one, which i didn't know was a self-help book until i started reading it, so it doesn't count. But, i feel like i have a pretty good idea what they present, the format used and hey, they're hoping to help people through encouragement, example & practice. Okay, cool.

So, i was thinking of writing a self-help book, based on my ridiculous & fairly humorous tales that continuously high-light what we learn as NOT to do when it comes to romantic relations, or just plain sha-zamin'. The things were taught not to say, to think, to do... i've kinda done a lot of them & i'm still here, still sane & have learned a lot about myself--and others, so maybe it could help others to share....? i like sharing.

What do you tink? i mean, is this the most outlandish thing to reason or is there perhaps a smidgen of "hey, that could maybe work, crazy."?
Example:

It is 1:30 am, i'm in my car, parked in front of the ATM with the motor running. Suddenly, we've past first kiss territory in a hurry & my eyes are open & i'm in shock. Not to mention that my seatbelt is on & my hands are balled up into clenching fists, tucked under my chin. [Not so idyllic, cinderella]

Flustered and stalling for time i place both hands on the steering wheel and say "Wow. Okay, i'm going to pop out & get some money out of the machine. I'll be right back. Try not to steal my car or anything."

Dashing to the ATM i'm ready to go through the 2-screens that get me my 'fast cash.' Problem is, they've changed the format. I put in my card & it asks me "What language would you like?" I choose English. Next prompt, "You chose English, is that correct?" Two things cross my mind: shit, this is too hard right now & two if i had chosen the wrong language, how the eff would this prompt help me? YES, English. Okay, i have cash. i now have to get back into my vehicle, which hasn't driven itself away.

It's incredibly quiet.
ME: "Hi."
HIM: "Hi."
ME: "How are you?"
HIM: "I'm good, how are you?"
ME: "I'm well."
After this incredibly drawl exchange, more snogging commences, but i'm still obviously distracted.
HIM: "What's wrong?"
ME: "Well, there are cameras."
HIM: "Cameras?"
ME: "Yes, cameras. We're directly outside a bank, there is one there & there. We gotta go."
HIM: "You're paranoid."
I shoot back quickly--too quickly: "No, i'm not. Where should we go?"
HIM: "Well, we could go to my house."
ME: "Hmm, well, i'm trying really hard not to be so easy these days." [Wow.]
Silence
I suggest a drive & we head towards the beach, because it is the only place that i can think of that is safe and if i need to run away, there's lots of room.

Meh? I guess at this point i'd have some sorta commentary on how being myself & saying what was on my mind a) didn't put me in too compromising position and b) allowed me to feel okay with situation, blah, blah, blah. Are you asleep? Is this just a bad diary entry? it's okay, i can take it.