A true lady doesn't swear -

She sure as hell can, goddamnit.

This was what i was told when i was 12, and not that i needed any encouraging, but this made me wanna swear all the time as loud as possible. I was never the 8th grader that said "Yeah, well that suck-- i mean, uh, that f*cking sucks." Oh, no. I could turn an obscenity with eloquence and grace.

My Science teacher had a sign that said "Swearing is the crutch of the English language." I always thought that meant he didn't like swearing, but then the mug that held the scientific rulers had the Play-boy bunny etched on its side and i decided the phrase was encouraging us to swear.

Of course, junior high wasn't where it all started. Oh, no. Picture me as a 4-year-old:
"Daddy, can i ask you a question?"
"Of course you can, you can always ask me anything."
[Pause]
"Is Jesus-f*cking-Christ a bad word?"
[Astonished pause]
"Yeah, yeah. That's a bad one. Let's not use that one."
"Okay."

I do feel swearing is a freedom & a hard-earned right of speech. I also think there is a time & place. Such as one shouldn't swear around children (i'm so guilty, even though i censor! i try very hard to censor. i often get 2/3rds of the word out & then clasp my mouth shut). The workplace is fine for the occasional, well deserved swear but on a whole not a good idea. Church, also not wise (but kinda funny, sorry).

Now, y'all probably think i'm a big potty mouth. And i don't think i am, i hope not. i'm a thoughtful and particular user of the English language's crass offerings. i am a fan of phrases that require hyphens.

All that said, take a peek at the Swear Jar.