Subway's newest TV Ad

WTF.
That's all i have to say. i mean, the foot-long sandwhich has always been open to inuendo, okay more obvious than ineundo, but this newest ad, had my jaw dropping.

Take a peek.

Right, what? I don't even need to say anything else; the magic of advertising.

Pet Narratives

i'm a little worried.

i'm beginning to speak & write in the first person-- well, first dog.

in what seemed like an innocent move, signing Jack up on Dogster.com, i've done the inevitable; i'm speaking as if i AM Jack.

Now, this makes sense, i like to write, i am creative & i have a dog. Oh, boy. now that line makes this sound even crazier.

I am comforted by the fact that i'm not alone in this semi-creepy endeavor. people talk/email Jack as if his puppy paws could scribe-out an answer so i respond in kind. but now i'm taking the initiative. i'm even toying with setting up a jack blog... heavens-to-betsy.

well, there are worse things i could do, i suppose.

A true lady doesn't swear -

She sure as hell can, goddamnit.

This was what i was told when i was 12, and not that i needed any encouraging, but this made me wanna swear all the time as loud as possible. I was never the 8th grader that said "Yeah, well that suck-- i mean, uh, that f*cking sucks." Oh, no. I could turn an obscenity with eloquence and grace.

My Science teacher had a sign that said "Swearing is the crutch of the English language." I always thought that meant he didn't like swearing, but then the mug that held the scientific rulers had the Play-boy bunny etched on its side and i decided the phrase was encouraging us to swear.

Of course, junior high wasn't where it all started. Oh, no. Picture me as a 4-year-old:
"Daddy, can i ask you a question?"
"Of course you can, you can always ask me anything."
[Pause]
"Is Jesus-f*cking-Christ a bad word?"
[Astonished pause]
"Yeah, yeah. That's a bad one. Let's not use that one."
"Okay."

I do feel swearing is a freedom & a hard-earned right of speech. I also think there is a time & place. Such as one shouldn't swear around children (i'm so guilty, even though i censor! i try very hard to censor. i often get 2/3rds of the word out & then clasp my mouth shut). The workplace is fine for the occasional, well deserved swear but on a whole not a good idea. Church, also not wise (but kinda funny, sorry).

Now, y'all probably think i'm a big potty mouth. And i don't think i am, i hope not. i'm a thoughtful and particular user of the English language's crass offerings. i am a fan of phrases that require hyphens.

All that said, take a peek at the Swear Jar.

cell phones + public restrooms = not okay

There has got to be a way to stop this insanity.

You know what i'm talking about: People on their cell phones in public restrooms. What the hell?

Now, i don't know if this is a female-only phenomenon (guys?), but honestly, is the call that important that you can't take 2 minutes to pee sans ear piece chirping?

And again, i don't care what you do at home, that's everyone's choice, but in public?

And you may be thinking, "i don't see this really as a problem, christine. i don't know what public restrooms you frequent, but...." Well, you don't work where i work, 'cause where does this happen the most? for me, in the work bathroom. At least twice a week i'm popping-a-squat while someone is yakking on the phone.
Delightful.
i'm going to print signs & post them in the loos, i swear.

So ladies, please, hang-up the goddamn phone, please. Thank you.