Original? Or maybe not so much

So i have this fantastic pal who thinks i am way hipper than i actually am (i mean leaps&bounds here, people). He sends me fashionista gossip (i can barely pronounce most of the designer's names), updates to avant garde film fêtes and then the occasional piece of relatable, tangible news that is suited for moi. (and by no means, stop sending me these things! They seriously make me feel hip just to think that someone even imagines i get this stuff! in short, it is excellent for my ego.)

Okay, so i've set the tone? yes. So the other day i get this piece of fun in my inbox & immediately think, "oh, boy!" as in wonderment i connect to this winsome link.

And voilà i am--
i'm relating! i actually am relat--, oh, wait i'm relating too much. stop! stop readin', christine. Noooooooooooooo.

This site is amazing. it's a blog all on "stuff white people like" [click on that title now, if you missed the 'winsome link' clue earlier.] and it is dead-on, balls accurate-- to quote the only watchable Marisa Tomei film.

Outta the 87 or so items on this list, i can honestly say all but about a dozen or so of them do not apply to me. And when i got home tonight & i was thinking about The List & me & bloggin' about it, i started to feel a wee bit, well, okay a lotta bit, gulp, generic. Now i'm not a true child of the 80s (i wasn't double digits in that decade, really), i don't hate my parents & i didn't know what Duran Duran was until i was 14-15 years old (Ordinary World!). Most certainly not a generation Xer. i have always kinda thought of myself as different & unique. Which I am, no one can take that away from me! --but not for the reasons i sorta thought made me stand-behind that statement.

Now this is not a pity-party, no sir! But me, myself, the one i've worked hard on constantly, seems a bit run-o'-the-mill, weak-sauce, unoriginal.

BUT at the same, exact time I feel a-part of something. I know, mushy-ickyness, but seriously. I've always marveled at the amazing peeps i've surrounded myself with & soak in their cultures, lifestyles & histories and have been a tad envious. i've contented myself since i was a young kid that my traditions were familial, based within my close-knit, lovely fam, not time-honored customs with origins based on other continents.

But guess what? i've been deeply fooling myself; i've been part of something all along. Ding, ding, can we say denial?! Now this 'something' has certainly not always been great and definitely has a past & present that needs some major rectifying but hey, i'm white (aka self-dubbed american mutt), and there are bunches of us. And it took a smart, funny blog to make me realize the motivations for a lot of the things i do are rooted in my american heritage.

So on that note, i'm so moving to Canada.

Falling for the right type...or not

What does that even mean? i know we have control over our little universes, but when feelings & brain are at odds, what is a girl [or boy] to do?


I mean, i know my past boy-pals have been wrong for me. And yet there is this patteren where the outward packaging differs from each past example, yet underneath it all they have all been the same, and i've known from the start; not right for me.


So here is to breaking the patterns of bad decisions; time to make some NEW bad decisions. YES! Who is with me?


Right, mr. rice?


Or you can sit on chimneys
Put some fire up your ass
No need to know what you're doing or waiting for


Coconut Skins ~

Oh, the moon~

i mean honestly. what is more reassuring then the moon?
And when it pulls the occasional neat trick of eclipsing, wow.

No wonder centuries upon centuries of people have praised, worshipped and written about this calming entity.

I sat on my back stoop tonight, and even in the hub-bub of la-la land (where there are usually more planes than visible stars) i watched her full, baleful eye wax and wane as she slowly waltzed with the earth's shadow.

All of us in different timezones, places (in the western hemisphere that is, see nasa if you want the sceintific scope) witnessed this awesome event; connecting us momentarily with a similar feeling of awe as we craned our necks to take note, as our most mindful guardian passed through the night sky.

Okay, enough waxing poetic, christine. Leave the moon to shakespeare, gosh


Midsummer Night's Dream - Act I, Scene I:
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night

Othello - Act V, Scene II:
It is the very err of the moon;
She comes more nearer earth than she was wont,
And makes men mad.

Winter's Tale - Act 1, Scene II:
By all their influences, you may as well
Forbid the sea to obey the moon

Julius Caeser - Act IV, Scene III:
I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon,
Than such a Roman.

And my favorite:
King Lear - Act I, Scene II:
This is the excellent foppery of the world, that,
when we are sick in fortune,--often the surfeit
of our own behavior,--we make guilty of our
disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars: as
if we were villains by necessity; fools by
heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and
treachers, by spherical predominance; drunkards,
liars, and adulterers, by an enforced obedience of
planetary influence; and all that we are evil in,
by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion
of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish
disposition to the charge of a star!

i know what to expect from chocolate

Right? i know it'll be yummy, will not disappoint and make me smile.
No wonder the opposite gender is such a let down.

Ah, me. Valentine's Day. Really, just a holiday to celebrate chocolate and the lovely clash of pink & red harmoniously emblazoning the brain. i've always taken the 4th grade approach to V-day; the conversation hearts (aka chalk candy, excellent for chucking at people), passing out foil v-day cards & chocolate.

And I don't mean to be bitter, nor do i even mean to whine; but honestly, I've got to stop what i've been doing. That is not to say that what i've been doing during my twenties has been the same, but as this decade starts to really come to a close, i thought a recap of my boy-madcaps would prove educational and perhaps expose a template to start this new decade fresh:

• The development of the scarlett o'hara complex -- wanting someone, but them not wanting me. then they did want me but i didn't want them any more, i was tired. This was basically high school, college and my early twenties. (if only i'd blog then!) This pattern shows up in future bullets as well.
• There was the "eff it all" and have a one-night-stand that evolved into an eight-month relationship with the health-nut, green-tea drinking, three-cell-phone "entrepenuer." I know, Miss, he was hot.
• There was the three-year crush that was like a roller-coaster of hints, inuendo and manipulation that had me crying at, well, anything. Damn you, scarlett.
• Throw in ONS #2, who's scruffy beard irratated the skin on my chin into a hideous mess (really, it looked like a rug burn on my chin. or that 7-year-old knee scrap on the pavement.)
• Let's see, then there was the "get to know him phase" which just resulted in these weird platonic tangos that left me deflated and confused. oh, and frustrated.
• Back to rollercoast crush, 'cause that just couldn't just go away! oh, no. Here is where i decided to "be an adult" and just tell him how i felt. yeah. except i wasn't dealing with an adult. This round ended with the most horrific sex story i will ever experiene (fingers crossed).
• Then there was the co-worker who asked me "to go out for a drink" which i thought was friendly. And it was, but a bit too friendly. not to say it wasn't a good time, it was. but it was completely unexpected (i naively thought i was getting a new friend at the office!) and then ended the same day it started, apparently, for him. Yet guess what happened? Yup, you guessed it! that darn southern hussy complex rolled back in, backwards this time.
• Lately i've been of the "just have fun with it" mind-set. It hs proven to be semi-effective, but the problem is the reason i never was like this before (see bullet 2), was because i've always known it'd never be satisfying. Sure the drama is nice and the occasional text messaging and the ability to booty-call, but this gets old very, very fast. Plus we all know this isn't going to go anywhere from the start.

So, as Stan would say at the close of South Park episode, "I think we've all learned something here today." And i'd agree. I am at exactly where i started when i was 25 and decided to "eff it all." Interesting. I've also learned that this isn't working. But what to do? i go out to bars, clubs, museums, bookstores, grocery stores, karaoke spaces, dinners. I do the occasional speed dating type scenario. i go to movies. i take classes. i have friends who have friends (y'all need to make MORE friends!!). None of this seems to be working. And i know, if i don't think about it, dwell, the whole "when you least expect it" kinda thing... but see above, a lot of those were in that spirit and see how well they've panned out, eh?

So, i'll just go back to my chocolate-covered rice krispy treat this V-day and it will all be just fine.