Got towed?

Ah, if only it was this warm & fuzzy; to get towed.

So last night i was visiting a pal who lives in Park La Brea. We totally forgot the time, but apparently PLB's security didn't. When i wandered out to the parking lot at 12:20 AM something was missing, my car. OOPS.

So i get it, i screwed up. So i go speak to the security guard, who is very put out by my dilemma. (sor-ry i had to interrupt your music-listening session and you have to work for 2 minutes, jeez!) He found it necessary to point out the signage about towing to me, as if i was illiterate. My response was something like (and controlled, i swear!) "I understand. I just need to fix this." I guess he was bracing for a fight, but honestly it was my mistake, so let's get on with it. I get the address of the towing company, which is over on Mansfield, South of Santa Monica/East of La Brea. I'm currently at 6th & Hauser, awesome.

And with that i hit the pavement. Hey, i'm a DIY kinda gal.

About 10 minutes later & i'm almost to Melrose, i get a call from my pal. So i'm chatting while power-walking up Martel & he notices i'm breathing a bit heavier than normal.

I get the question "Are you walking to your car...?"

"Uhm, yeah, kinda." [i am not a good liar when asked point blank & it's 12:45 in the AM]

"What do you mean, 'kinda?'"

"Well, uh, funny story. It seems my car was towed, so i'm just walking to the impound."

Let the games being! After much arguing, guilt tripping & being called "a crazy lady" for about five minutes, i acquiesce & let him pick me up & drive me to the car-pound. (I think it was the "i'm gonna get in my car & just start circling the streets" is what got me. and i was too tired to continue negotiating!)

So soon after my white steed arrived (in the shape of a Celica!) and off we went to find my poor car.

By 1:20 AM i had my car (139 smack-er-oos later!) and was on my way home, thanks to my hero!

And so I'm hoping my dumbness has been semi-entertaining & also moral-filled: read signs.

(of course anyone living in LA for more than 5 minutes knows this, but i guess i've gotten complacent! not anymore.)

Subway's newest TV Ad

WTF.
That's all i have to say. i mean, the foot-long sandwhich has always been open to inuendo, okay more obvious than ineundo, but this newest ad, had my jaw dropping.

Take a peek.

Right, what? I don't even need to say anything else; the magic of advertising.

Pet Narratives

i'm a little worried.

i'm beginning to speak & write in the first person-- well, first dog.

in what seemed like an innocent move, signing Jack up on Dogster.com, i've done the inevitable; i'm speaking as if i AM Jack.

Now, this makes sense, i like to write, i am creative & i have a dog. Oh, boy. now that line makes this sound even crazier.

I am comforted by the fact that i'm not alone in this semi-creepy endeavor. people talk/email Jack as if his puppy paws could scribe-out an answer so i respond in kind. but now i'm taking the initiative. i'm even toying with setting up a jack blog... heavens-to-betsy.

well, there are worse things i could do, i suppose.

A true lady doesn't swear -

She sure as hell can, goddamnit.

This was what i was told when i was 12, and not that i needed any encouraging, but this made me wanna swear all the time as loud as possible. I was never the 8th grader that said "Yeah, well that suck-- i mean, uh, that f*cking sucks." Oh, no. I could turn an obscenity with eloquence and grace.

My Science teacher had a sign that said "Swearing is the crutch of the English language." I always thought that meant he didn't like swearing, but then the mug that held the scientific rulers had the Play-boy bunny etched on its side and i decided the phrase was encouraging us to swear.

Of course, junior high wasn't where it all started. Oh, no. Picture me as a 4-year-old:
"Daddy, can i ask you a question?"
"Of course you can, you can always ask me anything."
[Pause]
"Is Jesus-f*cking-Christ a bad word?"
[Astonished pause]
"Yeah, yeah. That's a bad one. Let's not use that one."
"Okay."

I do feel swearing is a freedom & a hard-earned right of speech. I also think there is a time & place. Such as one shouldn't swear around children (i'm so guilty, even though i censor! i try very hard to censor. i often get 2/3rds of the word out & then clasp my mouth shut). The workplace is fine for the occasional, well deserved swear but on a whole not a good idea. Church, also not wise (but kinda funny, sorry).

Now, y'all probably think i'm a big potty mouth. And i don't think i am, i hope not. i'm a thoughtful and particular user of the English language's crass offerings. i am a fan of phrases that require hyphens.

All that said, take a peek at the Swear Jar.